Celebrating 12 Years of Marriage: 12 Lessons Learned

Hello Friends!

On January 17th, Jovan and I celebrated 12 years of marriage!

When I think back to the “wish list” I once had for the man of my dreams and compare it to the husband God gave me, I can truly say that He exceeded my expectations in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

Twelve years of marriage have brought beautiful memories, growth, laughter, challenges, lessons, and plenty of opportunities to learn more about one another. Marriage takes work, but in my experience, the work is absolutely worth it.

12 YEARS, 12 LESSONS

To celebrate our anniversary, Jovan and I sat down together and reflected on some of the things we’ve learned along the way.

These aren’t rules for a perfect marriage—we certainly don’t have one. They’re simply 12 lessons that have been meaningful in ours.

1. Pray daily, together and separately. Ask God to guide your mind and lead your heart in love.
2. Say “yes” to premarital counseling.
3. Be comfortable having uncomfortable conversations. Honesty and transparency are vital to the longevity of a marriage.
4. Be an effective listener. Give your spouse a safe space to express how they feel.
5. Date your spouse. Be creative. Have fun. And sometimes, no kids!
6. Be consistent. Remember all of those things you did in the beginning to keep your significant other engaged? Keep doing them.
7. Keep your personal business personal. If you’re in need of counsel, consider seeking the guidance of a professional marriage counselor.
8. Be open to change. If you plan to spend the rest of your lives together, continue learning your spouse—including how they receive and express love.
9. Find out what truly makes you happy. It isn’t your spouse’s responsibility to fill every void. Happiness is personal.
10. Don’t compare your marriage to someone else’s. What works for another couple may not work for you.
11. Give 100% of yourself. We’ve learned that 50% + 50% won’t cut it.
12. Take personal accountability. Be willing to say, “I was wrong,” and apologize when necessary.

STILL LEARNING

Perhaps one of the greatest lessons of marriage is recognizing that you’re never really finished learning.

As life changes, we change. There are new seasons to navigate, new things to discover about one another, and new opportunities to choose love, patience, grace, and partnership.

Twelve years later, I’m still incredibly grateful that I get to experience all of it with Jovan.

Cheers to love, commitment, growth, and all of the lessons still ahead. ❤️

What has marriage or a long-term relationship taught you about love and partnership? I’d love to know.